Diva. Lawyer. DivaEsq.

Diva. Lawyer. DivaEsq.

Monday, September 30, 2013

Ain't Nobody Got Time For That!

so this whole convo is around the dinner table right so here i am throwing a tantrum..."is ANYone gonna come see me speak at the forum for the 100 hispanic women!?!!!

V: sorry dear, i have to go to court that day

GringaMom: i have to pick up the kids

papito: i have the ITBS test

Grandpaw: i dont wanna hear a speech all 

Friday, September 27, 2013

I Just Wanna Feel This Moment!

my father came over from Jersey and saw my proudly displayed certification that i am 

"duly admitted and qualified as an Attorney and Counsellor of the Supreme Court of the United States."

and he is sitting there reading it and looking at it and studying this certificate high up on the wall.

I'm waiting.  This is my moment!  My father is gonna be so proud of me!  i can just picture it now!  i feel like Christina Aguilera!  the lights are bright and my hair is blowing in the wind!  ....i just wanna feel this moment!

he finally turns around and says with amazement in his voice:  


-Si, Papi.  i am licensed to practice in the Supreme Court of the United States!

his response: 

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

But My Name is on the Marquee!

we are getting ready to see DC-7 right? off broadway- as in TIMES SQUARE. im excited cuz i was told my name is on the marquee! [because i reviewed it for LaDiva mag] so i put on a dress and hair and makeup and go check on papito. he has on sweats and a white t-shirt. huh?

"papito! que haces!?! u cant dress like that! after all my name is on the marquee!!! por favor!"

papito: why cant i wear my t-shirt? its a nice t-shirt!

me:  cuz this is supposed to be important!  after all, my name is on the marquee!

i look at V for some help here and i notice that he too has

Monday, September 23, 2013


I remember I graduated from College and I was so happy!  surely Grandmita will be so very proud of me!

Her reaction:  ¡Eso no es nada!   Ahora tienes que ¡consequir un trabajo!

I remember when I was accepted to law school.  surely Grandmita will be so very proud of me!

Her reaction:  Ahora tienes que ¡graduarte de esa escuela!

I remember when I graduated from law school.  surely Grandmita will be so very proud of me!

Her reaction:  Lo más difícil es ahora que tienes que ¡conseguir un trabajo!

I remember when I finally found a job as a lawyer!  boy oh boy! THIS IS IT!

surely Grandmita will be so very proud of me!

Friday, September 20, 2013

More Reasons Why I Need Therapy

My family is a trip!  

if there is one thing i can say about them is --- boy do they keep you grounded!  

nothing is good enough for them! It's all LOVE!  and all very funny!

Read on to see....

Wednesday, September 18, 2013


so my sister calls me... yes i have a sister. for those reading my stories about my dad, my gringamom, puchi, and papito-- where was my sis? ok here's why...

she calls me specifically to tell me: (read with a very haughty accent and nose up in the air - please. and thank u.)

weeeeee have a problem. 

me: problem?

let's call her MissyFoo.  [this was the 1st post that i introduced my sister: MissyFoo]

MissyFoo: yeaaaas. u see, i pay a lot of money to send my son to private school.

me: ah-ha.

MissyFoo: and i spend a lot of money for my son to take tennis lessons! (exclamation point cuz she's real upset, right?)

me: yes.

MissyFoo: aaaaaand i dont appreciate ur son [papito - of course - but she dont call him that. no. she calls him by his FULL name: victor emmanuel torres rodriguez {name has been change}] teaching MY son..... 'YO!'

Love the accent!

V: i say we go take a weekend trip and see the foil-litch.

me: the what, dear?

V: you know the Foe- lee - itch

me: huh?

V: fowl-ley- edge

me: o_0

V: ay! las hojitas de los arboles en different colores!

me: oh!!!! the foliage

Friday, September 13, 2013

I'm bilingual, but my phone is not!

Vic is busy texting away. 

So I tell him: you know, you can speak right into your phone. It might be easier for you, then texting everything you want to say.

Vic: I've tried.  But the Samsung Galaxy doesn't understand my accent.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Monday, September 9, 2013

Learning About the TIE NOSE

so its was PUCHI's turn to read from her social studies book.

class is reading about the TAINOS.

so she starts reading about the TAINOS--- pronouncing it: TA- EE- NOS.

welllllllll--- the teacher interrupted her to correct her that she is mispronouncing it cuz according to the teacher its pronounced:



so i told puchi... did u tell her that ummmm u ARE taino???

Friday, September 6, 2013

No Longer Tom and Jane. Now it's also SELENA!

Check out Puchi's homework sheet on grammar

that she had to complete for homework.

Look at the example given.

I placed 2 stars in front so it's easy to locate.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Doing Homework - WITHOUT the internet - GASP!

Papito wants to get on the internet.

me:  for what?

P:  i gotta do my homework, mami!  i'm supposed to look up the record breaking temperature for New York.

me:  oh?  is that all?  that's EASY!  call Tio.  he knows.

P:  he does!?!  how would he know that?

me:  cuz he's a walking encyclopedia!

P:  a walking what?

me:  never mind that!  call him u'll see! .......

Monday, September 2, 2013

Geography 101: Mexico IS in North America.

Mami, my teacher said that Mexico is not in North America that its really part of Central America. 

Puchi, i dont wanna have to go marching into your school so early in the year so... 

just dont tell me these things OK.

Thanks for reading my blog!

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