Diva. Lawyer. DivaEsq.

Diva. Lawyer. DivaEsq.

Friday, October 25, 2013

Celia Cruz Lives on with Google

Start your day off with coffee and azucar? what about some Google and Azucar!

On October 21st, 2013, Google celebrated what would have been Celia Cruz's 88th birthday Monday with a doodle honoring the Cuban singer who rose to international

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Eva Longoria is Looking for the LawDiva

L'Oreal Paris Smooth Intense
Eva Longoria has a new television project called Vega v. Vega, who are a mother and daughter team, of which both are lawyers.  these two lawyers suddenly find themselves having to work together.  

Eva Longoria must have heard about me!- the LawDiva - La Diva Latina - the Latina Lawyer who is struggles to keep rice and beans on the table!

Well, note to Eva:  thanks so much!  but you didn't have

Monday, October 21, 2013

Married the Devil- for real!!!

intake for divorce. name. date of marriage. date of birth. her date of birth. 

"el 6 de junio del 66"

as i write- i STOP. whoa!!! 

he says: yes. see why i need this divorce- 

Loser Lawyer Loses Lexicon

eyewitness testified: "i was in my bed when the COs came in and accused me of something i didnt do and the punishment i was given was 15 days in the hole"

ATTY: who was with you in the ummm....

ME: (in a whisper) they call it "the hole"

ATTY: who was with you in the cell?

so the line of questioning went on for a few minutes in painstaking detail... then atty says:

The Courtroom as a STAGE

i tell V- i got a case for you . ill do the new case and you finish up this case for me, ok? please.  PLEASE!

when you get there just speak to the prosecutor. 

u cant miss him. ...

he's real tall. white dude. thin rimmed glasses. 

he actually looks like a model. ...

yeah you cant miss him. ....

My Life as a Small Business Owner

Some days at my law office are quite interesting, or unbelievable, or just plain funny.

For example, as a working Mom sometimes my daughter has to go to work with me...

so puchi is sitting at my desk in the office and the next door biz sees her and one of the ladies says to the other:

look they shrunk the lawyer.

and the other lady says:

Friday, October 18, 2013


Ready Set Gorgeous Cosmetics
Perry se une a la familia de COVERGIRL antes de lanzar su nuevo álbum, PRISM, el 22 de octubre

16 de octubre 2013 - HUNT VALLEY, MD – Reconocida como una marca que celebra la fuerza, confianza e individualidad, COVERGIRL cree que toda mujer tiene derecho a reinventarse, improvisar, y aprovechar las hermosas oportunidades que le brinda la vida. Así que es lógico que la nueva cara de la marca de belleza que llega lista para "rugir", no sea otra que la ferozmente talentosa estrella de la música y amante de la diversión, Katy Perry.  Trayendo su pasión, alegría, y sensibilidad por el estilo audaz a la familia de talentos de COVERGIRL, Katy se ha unido a la marca para deleitar tanto a las fanáticas de la belleza como a las apasionadas por la música con su primera campaña de cosméticos que debutará en la primavera de 2014.

A punto de lanzar su tercer álbum, PRISM, el 22 de octubre, Perry sigue estando más 

Friday, October 11, 2013

Biblical Translations

so we are gazing thru the art gallery. oh! alright! the art work from the vendors in the street- geez! 

anywayz and there is a huge framed painting of Jesus carrying this man in his arms and u see behind him the poem "Footprints in the Sand".  so he says, "WOW! u know the story right?"

i humor him: tell me the story

he says: so the guy says why is it that i see that thru all my hard times in my life there is only one step of footprints. ...

Speak Puerto Rican - Down to the SAINT

photo: corazones.org
so v's mother came by to see im and she tries to relate to my puerto rican-ness as much as she can... so she starts off by giving me soup and chicken and arroz "moro", and ensalda rusa and flan and frutas, she says, "chinas y mango" with the accent on the "o" like puerto ricans do.  dominicans put the accent on the "a".

she says, "iba hacer arroz con kimbombo pero... " i looked at her like what?

"pues- kimbombo- asi dicen ustedes los boricuas.... kimbombo!"
ooooohhhhh! si, si! Dominicanss call it molodrones anywayz...
then i hear her later on say: "gracias a la virgen del carmen que

That translates to-> Light a Candle

so v's mom stopped by to see him and starts talking about her adventurer at the emergency room b/c of course - u know our ppl... she has no real problems cuz her cousin or SOMEBODY in the fam is a DOCTOR. not just any doctor- an "anestesista "

ok. and her sister - que en paz descanse - was una enfermera.

so she calls on the fam doctor with any question. and dont worry... when u gave birth - yo le reze a mi hermana que te cuidara. por eso fue que ella te fue a visitar en el hospital. 

Translating BREAD

Translating is never easy.  But when you are a native speaker, its damn near impossible!

For example, translate this:  gracias as dios, la virgen y todos los santos!

it might suffice to say:  Thank Heavens!

The thing is that culture is IN the language.  This is why perservation of language is so very important, you are in essence preserving your culture.

For example, translate this one word:  PAN.

if you say BREAD.  you'll only be partially right.

Because if you say BREAD it evokes images, experiences, and everything you know about "BREAD".  for example:  If you're American you undoubtly say an image of WONDERBREAD, meaning, a  loaf o fbread that is cut into slices.  and how is it packaged?  is it in a plastic bag?  of COURSE it is! 

alright, now if you are latin america, of french, or italian, for instance you wont see an image of this sliced

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Ay, Virgen!


Went to Spanish Harlem last night looking for an empanadilla and only found tacos.

Ay Virgen del Carmen...

I mean, Virgin de Guadalupe.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Praying? or Speaking in Tongues?

also, im very proud to say and humbled that at the funeral.... u know there is always one voice that you follow as ur saying the prayers, this time EL ROSARIO, cuz the voice is confident and slightly above the rest- 

Santa Maria madre de Dios, ruega por nosotros los pecadores....

clearly, confidently, usually a matriach, right? not this time... :)

well that voice was none other than my little girl, Puchi ....

Ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte....Amen.


and Grandmita cant be left out of the ceremony so she commanded center stage - so to 

Friday, October 4, 2013


so i tell the kids that i am going to begin meditating daily for 21 days starting right now! 

and i say ok i guess ill sit on the floor. and so i sit down and close my eyes and papito says in a low whisper....

u are on the beach. walking. you see jesus. what will he say to you? what will you say to HIM?

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Countdown to Halloween but not necessarily for Latinos

Soon as its October its a countdown to Halloween.  Except that Latinos don't really celebrate Halloween. Instead we celebrate EL Dia De Los Muertos which is the next day on November 1st.

On November 1st, we remember our loved ones that passed on.  It always seemed a little 

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