Diva. Lawyer. DivaEsq.


Diva. Lawyer. DivaEsq.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

The One MUST-Pack Item for All Your Summer Outings

Toletta
YOU think you have everything packed for that day on the beach, or the zoo, amusement park, camping, etc..

sure.  then you get there and the inevitable happens...  

You gotta use the bathroom.

Great!  Sure... if the facilities were sanitary but usually.... well... you'd rather just wait if you can!  Until now!  :)


After reading this you will be prepared because you will carry ...

Monday, July 29, 2013

Babysitting the Preacher's Son


So I'm babysitting my friend's kids. And she is married to a preacher. A-hum. 



So Papito decides to play Jay-Z on his iPod. 


So why does the line that the preacher's son hear from 'empire state' is: Don't bite the Apple Eve. 



Oh Lordy! Preacher's son says: that's a story in the bible!


Friday, July 26, 2013

Summer a time of LEISURE, no?

Summertime is a time of leisure.  At least for some!  

For me- im babysitting my friend's kids, planning trips to exotic places like--- Coney Island, (cough, cough) and of course living vicariously through my friends adventures and vacations to exotic places :)

Here is a quick hodgepodge of summertime blog posts:


1- Babysitting the Preacher's Son... Or-> Lord help me! 

2- The One Must-Pack item for all your summer outings-> Toletta

3- She visits the End of the Earth and still praises her U. S. of A.  -> Niagara Falls




Monday, July 22, 2013

Only in Queens! the Most Diverse Borough in NYC!


i was at the Queens court waiting for my case to be called.




this iranian man tells the attorney in front of him: 

JESUS LOVES YOU.  



the jewish attorney says: 

theological arguments such as those i do not participate in.



then he take off his yamikah right off his head and...




Friday, July 19, 2013

No more paper files! Courts Going All DIGITAL!


so i go to yonkers court and "request to review a file".  




they hand it to me and i think its rather strange cuz its thin and the case is since 2006.  



after i review the sparse file, i return it and ask... 



i need what transpired in 2010, but its not here.



he says... 


Wednesday, July 17, 2013

A House in Queens


i swear i try to be "lawyerly" but sometimes i just CANT. i ask opposing counsel - why did the valuation of the house (in queens) is so low?    




she says, "how much should it be?" 


w/o hesitation i say, "double that amount". 


she says, "what authority do you have to make such a statement?"


Monday, July 15, 2013

Queens Girl For Life Part 2


where you're from affects every aspect of your life.



how you act and react to the world.



so here are some stories of how my Queens-ness (heehee ) permeated my professional life!  LOL






1- how my best defense in court was : cuz I'm from QUEENS! thats why!....ummmm... yeah... read on!  heehee!  





2- how technology has not reached the courts in Queens--- yet! oh boy!  get with it QUEENS!  





3- overheard an interesting exchange that could only be heard in Queens! 






Monday, July 8, 2013

Monster-in-Law


so vic's mother stopped by to see him and here we are watching baseball and she says: 


¿y porqué esos mets siguen jugando?  ¡no vale la pena! 


i look at vic and try to whisper: 


she does remember that im from queens right?


she's doing it on purpose, right?  dont u see that?!


he's nodding his head like nooo, cant be!


she goes on: 




Friday, July 5, 2013

the Part of the Bronx Closest to Queens


so i went to my old stomping ground- yeah STRONG ISLAND... a-hum. now i'm a bronx girl . uh-oh! 


so the dude says, introducing me to his friend: 


she came all the way from the bronx.


"oh? what part? the low rent part or the high rent part?" he answered back to his friend not to me. 


then he asks me: u didnt come all the way here just for him right?


me: no actually im from originally from QUEENS so any reason to cross that bridge, i do it! [trying to remain friendly]




Wednesday, July 3, 2013

I'm from QUEEEEENS!


I was at the MOMS SOIREE right. they're all Bronxites so I'm like "I'm from QUEEEEEEENS!"


It came up a few times... 'I'm from Queens!"


I mean I was just being flippant really. Like I'd say, 


"What?  Fordham?  Dont know it .... I'm from QUEENS". 


They started talking about the next get together.  Where  should it be? Someone said, "How about DON COQUI's?" So i said, "Oh?  The one in QUEEENS!!!!" --- that was tooooo easy! 


Then they started talking about going on a cruise, ...


Monday, July 1, 2013

Queens Girl for Life!


This week's topic is one of my fave topics and thats that ... I'm from QUEEEEENS! :)



Yes.  written with multiple EEEEEE's.



I moved from Queens to water front property in the Bronx and its quite a culture shock still and boy do i miss QUEENS! :)




here are a few of my Queens stories



1- a get-together with some of my newest Bronxite  friends I'm from Queeeens!



2- my return to that side of the bridge with some of my colleagues  the Part of the Bronx Closest to Queens


3- and my mother-in-law who just knows how to push my QUEENS buttons!!!  lol  Monster in Law



Read on!!!

Thanks for reading my blog!

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