Diva. Lawyer. DivaEsq.

Diva. Lawyer. DivaEsq.

Monday, August 27, 2012

omg! only 2 emails this morning!

have i reached my goal of 1/2 emails a day!  i sure hope so!!!  but i will stay vigilant!

Friday, August 24, 2012

let the weekend BEGIN!!!

i just got SQUARE


only 4 emails today. :)

its working.  soon itll be only 2 A DAY!

so dude calls: i got married in vegas 3 months ago and i want a divorce. ...

(cont from prior post) 

so dude calls: i got married in vegas 3 months ago and i want a divorce.

me: ok sure we can help. what's ur name?

ben long.

0__o i refrained from saying: hasnt been long at all - its only been a few months!!!!!!!


y'all need to STOP PRANKING ME!

@the office on a sunny friday afternoon

back @ the office.  now i start work... crazy!  on this beautiful sunny summer friday!  good thing i have an office with a window!!!!  well - not just a "window".  the whole place is flooded with sun!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Rice and beans and Red Lobster

So we go to red lobster and waiter asks puchi, which side would you like?

Puchi says: RICE AND BEANS


got it get it down to 1 or 2 a day! MAX!

only FIVE emails today!  yeah!  *jumping up and down*

not good enuf!  i am on a mission to de-CLUTTER that inbox!!!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

So I was talking to the prosecutor

I said you know, I had a similar case to this one, and the offer went from felony to misdemeanor. Perhaps we can do the same here.

He said: where was this? In the city. Cuz we don't do that here!

o_O How the heck did he know that I was from New York City? lol what gave me away? My accent? or my bad attitude???

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

According to KLOUT- i am a BROADCASTER

that means that:

You broadcast great content that spreads like wildfire. You are an essential information source in your industry. You have a large and diverse audience that values your content.



sotomayor is a DIVA:)

that's what i wrote circa 2009 on my fb TL.  woohoo!  heated debate with about 30 comments!

well.... she is a DIVA and when i met her i told her so!  so im happy! :D

she's AMAZING!  i can hardly walk into the courthouse to represent my client, suited up, hair slicked back, tiny stud earrings, little bit of lipgloss- TOTALLY trying to BLEND and i ***STILL*** get carded and stopped and asked for ID.  but SOTOMAYOR!!!! well SHE MADE IT!  <3 her!

why do these women call an attorney's office for "abuse"?

i tell women all the time.  you've got to the call the police not the lawyer.


Saturday, August 18, 2012


so family bbq... and sso the cutest little 7 year old.  so im playing with her and talking to her.

then i say:  nena linda?  quien soy yo?  como yo me llamo???

she shrugs?

so i say: TITI

she laughs.  y por que te ries?

she says:  that's a funny name!


LOL  thats cuz dominicans dont say TITI. they say TIA.

babysitting adventures continue... jugando FRIO o CALIENTE

so puchi says, "mami - hide this for us and we will try to find it."

they are pretending its a bomb and so if they dont find it in 15minutes BAM! itll explode!!!

ok. done!  come and find it!!!

but they cant find it and its like 14 min!  oh my!  papito is under the bed.  jay-tee is in the closet.  puchi is in her room. i walk over to puchi's room and  puchi says: "mami, dirnos si estamos frio o caliente."

ok, puchi.  TU estas tibia

i walk over to papito.  tu te estas calentando.

so puchi runs closer to where papito is.

i walk over to jay-tee - the Barely-Bilingual-One. ... y TU estas FRIO.

y looks at me w/ a straight face:  no.  im not.  im not cold!



so im babysitting again but - ive got RULES!

my rule is there is no ENGLISH in my house.  spanish only.  so JayTee aint used to it.  but he has no choice cuz ---- yo soy bien estricta!

so i said:  JayTee quein va jugar ese juego?

he looks at me - u can tell his mind is racing to search for the spanish words.... he says:

"yo, y jay-jay, y... y... michael."

and he runs off----  straight to jay-jay and asks jay-jay:  how do u say 'michael' in spanish?


Thursday, August 16, 2012

casting call for sesame street

‘Sesame Street’ is holding an open casting call

for a new recurring Hispanic character on Monday, August 20th from 10am - 2pm at Roseland Ballroom, located at 239 West 52nd Street in Manhattan. Would love if you could share this information with your readers—one of whom might get their big break on national television.

About the character
Male or female actor, 18-25, fluent in Spanish and English, comfortable with multiple Spanish dialects and accents. Good sense of humor. Must sing well. Actor should be comfortable with both physical and improvisational comedy. Actor should be warm, likable and engaging. Must be prepared to sing a cappella in Spanish and English.

why never answer my fb messages

on my email accts list- i forgot to add... fb messages, twitter DMs, and who know WHAT else!!!

 so THIS is why i never anwer fb messages. FYI

how many email accts do u have?

i have atleast 5 that i remember.  there's my personal one, the diva one, the job one, the gmail one- actually 2.  cuz i needed it to use myphone!  jeez!  google wants to control EVERYTHNG!

how many emails do u get a day?

cuz for me... its just too much!

a 30 minute workout is just 10% of ur day!

im keeping the daily sparkpeople emails.

yes. i said DAILY!  but they are the BEST!  like today the email said:

a 30 minute workout is just 10% of ur day!

yes!  <3 <3 <3 sparkpeople!

but this is my career!

dare i UNSUBSCRIBE from the ABA? american bar assoc.

just did!!!

whew!!!  im on a mission!

yahoo groups is next!

im going to OPT-OUT of yahoo groups!  and the groups i have i <3 them.  but... i <3 OPRAH too and i unsubscribed from her so now i feel all powerful!  lets do it!

bye oprah!

im declutter-izing my inbox.  which seems like it might be a lifelong project!

so today i did the unheard of!  i UNSUBSCRIBED  from OPRAH!

this is a whole new level of declutter- its more like DETOX!

Monday, August 13, 2012

i go to get papito from the basketball courts. but i dont see him.

all i see is a bunch of teenagers playing ball.

yeaaaaaahhhh,  ah-hum!  there he is!  he's looks just like one of the teenagers!  OH MY!

Friday, August 10, 2012

so dude says, he's going on a cruise.  hes going to jamaica and haiti and some other island.  i said:  thats GREAT!  im going to the islands toooooo!  yeah.... city island, coney island, long island....

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Friday, August 3, 2012

11 Native Americans Everyone Should Know

Sitting Bull, Crazy Horse, Squanto.
Name Native people alive today....

Read on ....


TAINOS Are *Not* Extinct

We all know that Columbus didn't really
discover America.  We know better now.  So
what about the peoples of the Caribbean?
What is the true story behind them?

Interview with President of the
United Confederation of Taino People

1st published in 2006 in La Diva Latina
Celebrating 10 years of La Diva


80 year-old Taina STILL in Hiding

I caught up with La Señora Gramita because who would know more about the Taínos than an 80 year old woman from Puerto Rico? Little did I know what a few simple questions would lead me to find out! 

The eclectic mix of family portraits, pictures of wolves, Indians, and Jesus Christ con el Sagrado Corazón all meld together in La Señora Gramita’s home. Her dark blue couch is decorated with dark red handmade pillows and curtains to match. There is a statue of an Indio looking proudly toward the door, as if keeping watch of anyone who enters. There is no coffee table, instead a large ottoman to put your feet up. 

La Señora Gramita loves to cook and prepares special dishes for people in the neighborhood.La señora del beauty, le manda arroz con gandules. la señora al cruzar la calle en el laundry, le manda surullitos. Every Wednesday her son comes for dinner. And her great-grandson requests bacalao. Off to the famed kitchen we go for the interview. 

I start by asking, “¿Qué sabes de Cristóbal Colón?" She says proudly, “Pues el descubrió América en 1893…” then breaks out in a poem about Columbus sailing the ocean blue. 

“¿Y quien estaba allí cuando el llegó?” She didn’t hear me and instead went on naming all three of his ships. “La Niña, La Pinta y la Santa Maria…” 

“En Puerto Rico, ¿quienes estaban allí cuando el llegó?” She thought for a while. “Los indios.”She sings again about how beautiful Puerto Rico was when Columbus landed. 

“¿Adonde estan los indios ahora?” She responds, “No se. Aquí no estan. No. Aquí no.”

“¿Y adonde estan?” Her face frowns, wrinkling up, a little confused. “¡¿Qué se yo!? Yo estudié eso hace mucho tiempo. Cuando era niña.” 

“Trate de recordarse de los indios de Puerto Rico.” She shakes her head, “Eso hace mucho tiempo. Desde los tiempos de mi mamá.” Her wrinkled face started smoothing out some as she starts remembering. “Ellos usaban esto,” she grabbed a handmade ladle from her counter. “Y cocinaban así,” she started spinning the ladle in the air as if stirring. “Antes los indios usaban igueras,” she grabbed one with the other hand. “Y el coco. Y hacian muchas cosas con los cocos,” she starts pretending she’s drinking from it. 

“¿Los tiempos de su mamá? No es tanto tiempo atras.” She throws up her arms in desperation, “¡Ay! ¡No se!” She starts putting away her Taíno cutlery. Her eyes squinted half in frustration and half in confusion, “Quizás fueron los tiempos de la mamá de ella.” 

I try to jog her memory a little. “¿No se recuerda si alguna vez tu mamá mencionando alguien en su familia que era Taíno?” Her eyes lit up. There was an inner glow radiating from around her as she walks out her kitchen. “No creo.” I follow her out the kitchen. “¡¿No se si tengo raza Taína!?”Her glare changes to one far away, somewhere in her memory, way back, 80 years ago. “Si quieres pregúntale a mi hermano." She shrugs her shoulders. “Puede ser que tenemos en la sangre raza Taína.” 

From where I’m standing now I can see to the living room at the Indio facing me and I want to say he winked at me as I said goodbye to la Señora Gramita! 


In the last 10 years of La Diva, one thing is clear- I have reclaimed my TAINO roots.
Perhaps these stories will help you reclaim your Taino Roots as well.  Read on!!!


Thanks for reading my blog!

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