Speedy Gonzalez and other famous Mexicans


So Kassie is visibly upset.  I see her talking to her uncle (my cousin) Joselito.  So I walk over to them and she explains:  

I can’t believe he’s so ignorant!  How dare he?  How dare he call me a Mexican!


He said what?

“He said to me: oh, your last name’s Gonzalez.  You must be Mexican.”

Joselito sees the humor in it, “You know why he thinks you’re Mexican right?  Cuz of Speedy Gonzalez!”

Still feverish in her Puerto Rican/Irish anguish, “Well I never!”

What can I say to her?  “You know what, the next time he or anybody calls you a Mexican!!!!.... you… you…. You say ‘Thank you.’”

I said it with such sincerity that she just looks at me.

“Yeah.  Thank you. “

Joselito liked my answer, “Yeah!  What’s wrong with Speedy Gonzalez?”






I explain, “Tell him, 'I must look like a million bucks!  Cuz the richest man in the world is MEXICAN!”

Kassie: “NO he’s not!”   Me: “Yeah."

Kassie: “What’s his name?”  Me: “Carlos”

Kassie: "Carlos what?"

Joselito:  Must be Carlos Gonzalez.

Me: Look, just google it – ‘richest man in the world’.  Besides, half this country was Mexico. Everyone knows that!   That’s why you have states with Spanish names: Colorado, Nevada, Florida….

Joselito:  New Mexico…. Puerto Rico.... Nueva York…

She finds Carlos Slim on Google.  Now she’s intrigued.

Me:  You know what?  Gimme a dollar. Quick! Give me a dollar!

Joselito: as Speedy Gonzalez would say: ¡Andale!

Joselito takes a dollar from his pocket.  I hand it over to Kassie, “What does it say there?  Who is the United States Treasurer?  Huh?  READ! ... Anna Escobeda Cabral. [Now its Rosie Rios btw]  She's MEXICAN."

Joselito:  Why is her name on the US dollar?

Me:  She’s the Treasurer of the United States!  ¡Oyeme!

Victor walked into the room.  He's Dominican.

Joselito:  Let’s talk about the Dominicans now.

Vic:  uh-oh what did I walk into.

Joselito:  I read that Trujillo, the past president, wanted to whiten the population.

Me: But of course they did.  After all, all Dominicans are really Haitian anyways.

Kassie:  That’s TRUE!  Yeah! They are!  I mean like Haiti and DR, they’re connected.

I just looked at her and said very slowly: And so is the US and Mexico.

You should have seen the lighbulb go off in her head!  I said:  Now you’re beginning to understand!

Joselito:  ¡Orale!


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